After 13 years in the classroom, I’ve had a lot of open houses, conferences, and hallway chats with parents.
And every year, I find myself wishing I could say the same honest things—not because I’m frustrated, but because I care deeply about your child and I want to partner with you to make school a better experience for them.
These are the things I want every parent to hear—heartfelt reminders from a teacher who’s also raising kids of her own. I know how hard parenting is, and I also know a few small shifts can make a huge difference.
Here’s what I wish you knew:
1. We Love Your Child—Even on Their Hardest Days
This isn’t just a job. It’s not just standards and schedules and test scores. I know your child’s laugh. I’ve seen the way they light up when they finally “get” something. I can tell when they’re having a tough day—sometimes before they even walk in the room.
There are days when behavior slips or big emotions take over. That’s part of growing up. And even when your child pushes every button I have, I don’t stop caring.
We’re in this for the long haul. We don’t give up on kids. Please don’t think one bad day means your child is “in trouble” or not liked. We love them through it all.
2. We Don’t Expect You to Be a Tutor—Just a Cheerleader
If I could lift one burden from every parent’s shoulders, it would be this one. You don’t have to reteach fractions, read chapter books aloud every night, or know what a digraph is.
Your job isn’t to correct every homework page or figure out the Common Core. Your job is to say things like:
“I’m proud of you for working hard.”
“Let’s make a space where you can focus.”
“Want to teach me what you learned today?”
Being a cheerleader goes further than being a stand-in teacher. Encouragement builds confidence. That matters more than perfectly labeled diagrams.
3. Homework Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect. It Just Has to Be Honest.
I’d rather see a messy, halfway-done math sheet that a child tried to complete on their own than one that’s clearly been rewritten or color-coded by an adult.
When you fix every error or “help” too much, you take away one of the most important things I need as a teacher: feedback. If I don’t know what your child is struggling with, I can’t help them grow.
Let them try. Let them mess up. Let them be the one who solves the problem—or leaves it blank and circles it with a question mark.
Mistakes are data. Honest work shows effort. That’s what I’m looking for. Check out this post for more on the homework topic.
4. Let Your Child Carry Their Own Backpack (and Pack It Too)
I can’t count how many times I’ve heard:
“My mom forgot my homework.”
“My dad forgot to put my folder in.”
“My grandma didn’t pack my lunch.”
Friend, it is not your job to remember your third grader’s homework. It is not your job to stuff their library books in their bag at 7:58 a.m.
This sounds harsh, but here’s the truth: kids need to learn to manage their own responsibilities. And they can! With practice, it becomes routine.
Yes, they will forget things. That’s part of the learning. But if we keep rescuing them or taking the blame, we rob them of the chance to develop accountability.
Teach them to pack their own bag the night before. Show them where to place their folder and homework. Let them experience natural consequences if they forget. It’s okay. The classroom is a safe place to learn responsibility.
5. Reading Anything Counts—Graphic Novels, Pokémon Guides, Cookbooks
Please don’t worry if your child isn’t devouring long chapter books every night. You don’t need to push classic novels or strict reading logs.
What matters is that they are reading—and enjoying it.
If they’re flipping through graphic novels, sounding out Pokémon character names, reading cereal boxes or joke books, that’s real literacy. When kids read what they love, they build fluency, vocabulary, and confidence.
Some of the strongest readers in my class aren’t the ones with the thickest books. They’re the ones who choose to read on their own—because they like it.
So yes, reading the back of a toy box counts. So does reading recipes while you cook together. Follow their interests and keep it fun.
6. Email Is Better Than Calling. We’re Not Ghosting You—We’re Just Teaching.
It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. I do. But I physically cannot answer phone calls between 8:00 and 3:30.
I’m leading a lesson. I’m helping a student. I’m managing recess drama or lunch spills or tech that won’t load.
Email gives me time to read your message, gather information, and respond clearly. I’m not avoiding you. I just need a way to communicate that works during my actual school day.
Also—if your child tells you something and it doesn’t sit right, please reach out. Don’t let it simmer for weeks. I want to partner with you, not surprise you at conferences.
7. Packing a Snack Is a Love Language
You wouldn’t believe the number of students who forget their snack or don’t have one packed at all.
Around 9:45 every morning, I can tell who didn’t eat much for breakfast. They’re tired, cranky, and not at all focused.
Packing a healthy snack is a small act that makes a huge difference. It doesn’t need to be Pinterest-worthy. A banana, a granola bar, some crackers—it’s about nourishment and routine.
Even better? Let your child pack it themselves. Add it to their morning checklist. It’s one more way to build independence and responsibility (see #4!).
8. Don’t Stress About Testing. Really.
Standardized tests are a snapshot. They are not a full picture of your child’s ability, creativity, personality, or potential.
In elementary school, we’re assessing way more than numbers on a screen. We’re watching how they solve problems, how they bounce back from mistakes, how they treat others, and how they grow over time.
Do I want them to try their best? Of course. But I don’t want anyone losing sleep or skipping activities because of a test.
Your child is more than their score. And we see that every single day.
9. Encourage Sleep More Than Grades
I’ve had more kids than I can count tell me they stayed up until midnight—or later.
Sometimes they say it proudly. Other times they’re barely able to keep their head up during math.
Do I always believe it? Maybe not… until I see them melt down over a lost pencil or fall asleep on their reading book.
Sleep matters. It’s the foundation for learning, behavior, memory, and mood. And yes—even big kids in upper elementary still need early bedtimes.
If you’re choosing between staying up to finish an assignment or going to bed on time, choose sleep. Every time.
10. Believe the Teacher—We’re Here to Help, Not to Hurt
When your child comes home with complaints—about the teacher, the class, or another student—it’s natural to feel protective.
I get it. I’m a parent too.
But here’s something I’ve learned: kids are wonderful, but they are not always reliable narrators. They tell the truth from their perspective, which is often missing context, detail, or the full picture.
When my own kids come home venting about school, I listen with empathy—but I also take it with a grain of salt.
The same goes for what I hear from students about you. I don’t believe everything your child tells me about your home life—and I promise not to judge you based on it.
Let’s give each other grace and assume the best. I want to support your child. I want to work with you. And I want our relationship to be built on mutual respect and trust.
Final Thoughts: We’re on the Same Team
At the end of the day, you and I have the same goal: to help your child grow into a capable, confident human being.
You bring love, history, and home. I bring structure, strategy, and support. Together, we can make this a good year.
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, unsure, or just trying your best not to mess it all up—you’re not alone.
And if you found yourself nodding along to any of this, know that your child’s teacher (and this teacher-mom behind the screen) sees you, supports you, and is cheering you on too.
Want simple ways to support learning at home?
Check out these easy-to-use printable tools I created for busy families:
Conversation Cards that Build Thinking + Connection
Reading Calendars + Bingo Boards for At-Home Literacy Fun
Smart at Home Kits by Month
Find all my favorites here.
